Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My ass is underappreciated
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize