suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
