I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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