Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
