I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
it glows. i had to have it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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