fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
