I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
