You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
