I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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