Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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