well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
No subtext here. People are naked.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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