so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
