Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
