i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just want nice things and good sex
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
