do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
