Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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