There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
