I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize