Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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