I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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