is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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