I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
