Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
