so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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