I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
