East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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