No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
