Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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