I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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