all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
