remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
