when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
