About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
