hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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