Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
