I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
