I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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