no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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