I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
