i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
