This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
