This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
