PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize