u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
