Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
