im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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