gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
