ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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