Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
