do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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