I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I want to be your penis for a week.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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