Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Is it penis luge time yet?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
