i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
