so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
