sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
