ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
