I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
