Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
