Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
