What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
