he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
