I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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