i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize